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Mysterious Laws Of Theatre.

July 29, 2015

As I prepare to take a summer break from this blog, I thought I’d leave with something to ponder during those long final days of the holiday season.

So, here are 10 laws of theatre, handed down by the generations. Some old, some newer, but always worth a thought:

1) The first programme buyer always uses a £20 note.

2) The ice-cream buyer in front of you always nabs the last chocolate one.

3) Large people know instinctively which seats smaller people have already booked, so that they can buy the ones directly in front.

4) The least punctual people always buy the most central seats.

5) Stage managers monitor all tube journeys. If yours is delayed, they’ll start the show on time for the first time in the run.

6) Flu bugs know when you are particularly looking forward to a show, and which performer you particularly wish to see…

7) The more you love a particular show, the more likely it will close prematurely.

8) The bigger the ego, the fewer performances a star has to do each week.

9) Your mind will wander just as the crucial line is spoken which makes sense of the next two hours.

10) Theatre producers have incriminating photographs of all West End theatre owners. It’s the only explanation for the revival of “Let It Be.”

 

And on that note, have a great break. I’ll be back on 8th September, as the leaves start to fall and the campsite outside the Barbican for “Hamlet” returns reaches epic proportions…

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