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Why theatre beats politics

May 13, 2015

So, the circus has left town for another five years, and our new clowns have been chosen. Safely locked in the loony bin with the big clock, if we all manage to ignore them for long enough the damage should be minimal.

Still, I think the theatre world is better, and here’s why:

1) We only have to believe in theatre for two hours (four at most, if Trevor Nunn is directing). Politics expects us to suspend disbelief on a permanent basis.

2) The critics have a say just once, then shut up, instead of droning on for years.

3) If a show gets criticised, the actors don’t resign. They keep going for as long as they can. Beats all those so-called leaders the morning after the night before.

4) On the whole, actors cost less. The Equity minimum wage is far lower than what we pay anyone in politics – and at least we are entertained in return (OK, granted, Boris is sometimes an exception, but you get my drift).

5) You don’t get Scottish actors pitching themselves against English ones or those who agree with Europe ganging up on those who don’t. Instead, they all sit around together working out how to make their play the best they possibly can.

6) Theatrical adverts you get through the post are a lot more fun than political leaflets. And they include things like CDs and DVDs that you want to keep and watch again.

7) Theatre is always guaranteed to improve the lives of everybody it touches. Changing moods for the better and offering hope.

8) Let’s face it, most actors are better looking on telly than politicians…

9) … and they are chosen on their abilities rather than who they may have gone to school with or how far they agree with the text.

10) In the theatre world we know how to manage a massive budget, and don’t spend trillions on anything which can’t go towards improving what we do best.

Well, that’s all I can think of right now, but you get the picture. Vote theatre every time.

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