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Sometimes you just have to…

May 21, 2014

I would have enjoyed the first half of my first visit to the Park more if it hadn’t been for two (as it turned out) nutritionally-endowed, ethanol-enhanced, height-gifted visitors of northern mainland Continental European extract* two seats away a row behind me.

Despite several “Paddington Bear” special stares from me, their whispers got louder and louder. Eventually I quietly hissed in frustration, “would you please shut up.” Note the generous “please.”

Five minutes later the act ended… and as I get up from my seat, one of them uncoils himself and, bullyingly, confronts me in the aisle with, “it is very rude to tell someone to shut up.” I think he thought I was a kid (I’m fairly slight viewed from behind and seated)…

Anyway, I looked him straight in the moobs** and replied, loud and clear, “it is VERY rude to talk during a performance and disturb those around for two rows.” He repeated himself, I simply said, “if you do it again, I’ll have you ejected.” And walked away.

Thank goodness – for the sake of quiet around us – that they didn’t come back. I think they left, because I wouldn’t want to inflict them on anyone else – apologies if they moved near you…

Funny enough, decorum around me was excellent in the second half, a lady even dropped her programme and didn’t retrieve it until the end. Now that’s one for the “good behaviour” column, I think.



*to be P.C.

** No P.C. term for this, that I’m aware of.

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