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Why I think acting differs from other jobs.

September 25, 2013

About 10,000 people want every job you are after, despite it being insecure and not brilliantly paid.

To get it, you have to convince around a dozen people that you are somebody else – and they consider that to be a good thing.

Thus, nobody thinks you are weird for being a different person half the time you are at work.

Before work, you and your new colleagues practise what you are going to say to each other (and how to say it) by doing so out loud to each other, rather than just inside your heads as normal workers do.

You therefore know exactly what your colleagues are going to say, and when, every single day.

So, you can actually induce mass-hysteria by not saying what your colleagues expect you to say at any given moment.

Anyway, you are actually expected to get visibly over-emotional during your job every single day.
Or burst into tuneful song and dance routines involving the whole office for minutes at a time.

This is because people pay to stare at you while you are working.

There’s also a fair chance they’ll do that even more attentively as you romp with your colleagues in the nude in your workplace.

Or attempt to murder them.

Among those watching, expect there to be  those who will write work appraisals which are distributed world-wide.

If your work is good enough, you get applause from satisfied customers at the end of every single working day.

Also, you find your name and photo plastered all over the outside of the office – and possibly on the tube posters and your Metro newspaper on the way in.

And if you don’t turn up for work as expected, some people you’ve never met (and never will) could get very upset.

Some of those devoted customers may also hang around outside your workplace for your autograph.

A few may even want to sell it (and anything else of yours) on Ebay. Even fewer may want to get even more uncomfortably close…

However, if your work isn’t good enough, you get sacked at two weeks notice and will worry that you will never work again.

You do, though, sometimes get an amazing office party on the first official day on the job. This is to provide a memory that should keep you going until next time… you hope.

One Comment
  1. Sarah permalink
    September 25, 2013 8:10 am

    Absolutely brilliant ! … that is all !! 🙂

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