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A bunch of firsts

March 27, 2013

Yes, it’s rare, but sometimes even I’m surprised at things I encounter.

During this week, there were a few… First, the clown sitting in row… no, I won’t name and shame him… but, dipstick, if your phone rings once in the first half and you mute it… WHY THE BLAZES DON’T YOU SWITCH IT OFF FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT, RATHER THAN HAVE IT GO OFF AGAIN DURING THE SECOND???!!!

Next up, since when does anyone need to get REALLY sozzled to enjoy a West End show? One woman I observed required around 3 glasses – just to get her through the first half. I’m amazed she could see the mobile phone she was disrupting everyone around her with (yes, we can all see the light in a dark theatre, you drunken idiot).

Moving on, why fork out over £60 for a ticket then depart for the loo during the climax of the show? OK, nature can occasionally call unexpectedly, but if you know you have a problem, why not buy a seat right next to the exit? House managers actually understand that people sometimes have problems when they arrive and will often do everything in their power to make you comfortable.

It would be really bitchy to mention somebody wearing a leather mini-skirt when they were way too old for such a fashion statement (more like confession beaten out of them by the Fashion Police), so I won’t do that, as it isn’t fair. It did brighten up the interval, though, providing something to giggle over.

To finish on two “up” notes, though: I’ve seen an audience give a standing ovation simply from the pure joy of what they’ve watched, rather than because they think (in a rather Broadway way) that it’s expected. And I’ve seen a cast equally spontaneously reciprocate by applauding them for being such a great audience – Mr and Ms BeanBrains excepted of course.

Oh, and I managed to find a date to see “The Audience” where there were a) tickets available, b) I could make it and c) public transport was running from my area.

And on that note, I’m off on a break for a couple of weeks, back when I’ve figured out a legal way of disarming both phones and alcoholic drinks within 100 yards of every auditorium in London.

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